After a rough night, I was sitting by Rick's side this morning watching the beautiful sunlight on snow, and his last words were, "OK, let's get this over with." Then he looked upward, appeared lost in thought, shivered a bit, exhaled, and that was that. No pain, no anxiety. It was so beautiful that I couldn't cry. (I had done enough of that earlier, anyway.)
He is still at home, washed and wrapped in a shroud and lying in a beautiful, cool room. All of his children are here today and anyone who would like to drop by this week is welcome.
Thank you again for all your prayers and your love. He was, indeed, a special guy.
I'm not sure yet what the final arrangements will be. I'll post here when I know.
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i am my fathers son.....im just going to miss one of my best friends and a wonderful father
ReplyDelete.....after alot of hesitation upon arrival, i went to see him and left with comfort and closure....although no closure was necessary because we are tight..... i love you dad and i already miss you
please friends and family, come visit and say farewell
ive never known a more loved person in my entire life
miss ya pops ur son...david
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time. He was a great man and indeed a "special guy" who we were fortunate to have known.
ReplyDeleteThe Wissler Family
We will miss you my dear friend. Your spirit lives on in many. You touched our lives in a way no other could. Each of us are individuals who contribute in our own special way. Yours was special indeed. I will remember you every time I snap a shutter and every time I want to smoke and DON'T light up. Stop by when you get a chance will ya...until we meet again.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this. A very special person. My best to you, Joan.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you, Joan. What a truly beautiful and moving description of your last moments with Rick. I have known you and Rick for most of my life (I believe I was 2 around he time when you met Friede and Bill at the Stone Balloon?) I'll never forget him, that is a certainty. He was a beautiful, kind, and talented person who touched so many people. I'll be thinking of you, take care. Kirsten Lohrbach
ReplyDelete"OK, let's get this over with."
ReplyDeleteWow, what a man. Thanks for sharing this Joan.
Love to all,
Ron
A 60 year friendship has come to a heartbreaking end and we are grieving. Rick was a member of my family, one of the most beautiful people I have had the honor to know. And you came along, Joan, and together you magnified your beauty and love of life and projected it into the lives of your many friends and family. The joy is that we have lasting memories in the many pictures Rick took of our family weddings. Not only was he there but he, as family himself, presented each occasion as an extension of himself celebrating with us - our world as seen through Rick's eyes, as my son Chris says. You were both blessed to have each other and we were blessed to have you both. "Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves." Thanks for the sunshine, Joan. Jeanne and I along with my brother Joe, Chris, Maria, Shaun & Tim send our heartfelt sympathy.
ReplyDeleteWe'll miss you Rick...although we were not as tight as we should have been...I'll always remember that smile and growing up together. Cuz I love you. Say hello to mom and pop. You will be remembered as they will too...Cuz Matt.
ReplyDeleteDear Joan,
ReplyDeleteI had been thinking about you, Rick and all of the kids a great deal over the past several days- even before Lynn called me last night. I was sad to hear of Rick’s death, but so happy that you had the chance to be together at the end in a peaceful setting that held many warm memories of your life together. It is the best parting gift you could have given to each other.
I know that Rick is now with those who have gone before him. Grandmother and Grandfather Sirs are waiting with open arms to welcome him. The lamb has been cooked just right, the red wine is breathing and everything is laid out for Rick to make a fantastic Caesar salad for the dinner. Rick would want us all to rejoice in good food, good drink and the company of those who mean much to us.
As a brother-in-law, Rick was great. I will miss his smile and laugh. This spring, Stan and I will plant a tree in our Memorial garden in his memory. It will not be “old growth” soon but hopefully “old growth” of the future.
Now the work begins for those who have been left behind. I share a poem sent to me by my best friend who was looking for words to comfort him at the passing of his brother. I found they resonated for me and hopefully they will bring comfort for others.
Please let Stan or I know if there is anything we can do,
Love,
Jane
THOUGHTS ON GRIEF
By: John O’Donohue
From: Benedictus
When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you becomes fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.
There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.
Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.
It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.
Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.
Dear Joan and Alyssa and family:
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. Please know I am thinking of you. My prayers are with you at the difficult time.
Love, Ann and Joe
In Blackwater Woods
ReplyDeleteMary Oliver
Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars
of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,
the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders
of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is
nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned
in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
Uncle Rick and Aunt Joan, you were the first people to teach me that life is what ever you want it to be and always beautiful. Thank you for being a light in my life. All of my love to you and Alyssa.
ReplyDeleteblessings, Lizzy
Dear Joan and Family,
ReplyDeleteI will miss Rich as I am sure we all will, but I have so many fun memories to keep him alive in my heart.
Love, Sheryl
Shocked and saddened to hear this. I did not know Rick well or for very long, and that is my loss. It would do anyone credit to hope to depart this life with half as much class and courage.
ReplyDeleteMy sympathy Joan, and to your family.
Shelton
We are so very sorrow for your loss. Our thoughts are with you. Carolyn and David Mathers
ReplyDeleteBlessings of healing and Light to you and your family Joan. Rick's work and that amazing smile will live forever.
ReplyDeleteDana Kester-McCabe
Joan & Alyssa
ReplyDeleteWhat a Man..Rick will be missed by many. My thoughts are with you guys.
Charlie Muskat
Joan & Family, my heartfelt condolences go out to you for as Rick told me, "You are the lights of his life." I feel blessed to have forged a deep friendship w/Rick over the years after our very young marriage as 17 yr. old babies. It seems almost eerie that Rick decided to visit us two years ago to meet his beautiful great-grandson...it was meant to be. He then went on to meet his granddaughter. I knew Rick as a typical 16 y.o. and 18 years later when we reconnected saw a man who grew into a wonderful person full of life and adventures, and so happy with the love of his life, Joan. I will treasure these later years of knowing Rick. I see so much of him thru Jesse. I know you all have wonderful memories of a husband and dad. May peace be with you. Jane McDuffie
ReplyDeleteMy dearest sister Joanie,
ReplyDeleteI have been so heavy hearted these past few days. I've wanted to write on here, and haven't been able to find the words. Not a morning or evening has gone by without Rick on my heart. I am so thankful for his presence in our lives for all of these years. I have spent days pouring over memories and photos. I've laughed out loud thinking of his wonderful humor and some amazing moments that we had... particularly in the past few years. I have such fond memories that I will treasure forever. The non-stop healing party dinner and our wonderful conversation will stay with me forever. Especially when each of us were able to speak about what you and Rick have meant to us... what your love taught us and how blessed we were to be part of your lives. As you wrote in your beautiful poem to Paul and me "your gold is not ordinary gold". Your love for each other will forever transcend time and space. Thank you for showing me what it looks like to live in deep selfless love... I am comforted in knowing that you and Rick lived an amazing life together with the kind of love that most of us only dream of having.
I love you, Doughnut. You have been there for me my whole life - always. Please know that I am here for you in any way you need. Our door is always open and our guest room is ready.
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18
I look forward to our glorious reunion with Rick.
Love you,
Kathleen
Joan and Family,
ReplyDeleteI signed the guestbook on Rick's tribute page in the online paper.
As I noted there, my husband, Tim Furhmann, and I are so sad for your loss. This blog is amazing and so "Maloof" to be sharing so much personally with world. Perhaps that will be a new way the world could pay compliments: "That was so wonderfully Maloof of you, thank you!"
What a legacy Rick leaves, not only in his own words, deeds and pictures, but through the lovely lady he married, the beautiful-spirited children he helped mold, and the many friends who have been blessed by bonds with him -- as evidenced right on these electronic pages.
Our hearts are with you today, and we'll be watching for news of the memorial service. We share your grief and want to celebrate his abundant life with you.
Terry Cohen
Joan, thank you for your love and transparency in sharing this final journey with Rick with so many of us. I have admired the two of you for many years, and it is an inspiration to hear of his leaving this earth with the same easy grace and beauty his life exuded.
ReplyDeleteMy Dear Rick, Thank you for your love when I was growing up. I remember you singing to me before I went to sleep when you babysat. Bless you Joan and Family. Say Hello to my great Mom and Dad, and my wonderful Uncle Dan and Auntie Kay. With great sorrow, Pauline Maloof-Marek
ReplyDeleteWhat a loss. Thank you Joan for letting us see and read about Ricks journey. After seeing him only occasionally for the last few years, it is shocking to comprehend that he is gone. I keep flashing on images of the many photos he took and the inner peace that leaked out through his smile. He will be greatly missed because he gave so greatly to us.
ReplyDeleteI'd read the guestbook online, and felt so distant from all of this. I saw the links to this page and read your post on his passing. Where I'd posted that I'd be less in his passing, I know better now that I'll always be more for knowing him.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Rick my dear friend, you will be missed! Thank you Joan for sharing one of life's most intimate moments. My thoughts and prayers have been and will be with you and your family. A year ago last September my daughter, Adrienne got married on an island in Maine. And yes, Rick was there to photograph the entire weekend. My daughter gave me a book this Christmas with wedding photos. I treasure every page and can see Rick the artist in every photo! What a kind and generous man. I am a better person having known him.
ReplyDeletedear Joan,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your pain. You, Rick and Alyssa have been frequently in my thoughts these last few days.
Thank you so much for sharing those intimate, inspiring last moments. "OK, let's get this over with." What an amazing guy!
We never got to be that close, but I'm so glad I was able to give him a big bear hug at Halloween.
You are all much loved.
Susan Holt